I completely get what you are saying. I’m now semi-retired after 25 years of running my own business, and I can’t tell you how many days I’ve had, at least somewhat similar to what you described.
And yes, it’s hard for others who haven’t experienced this to understand. Some people seem to slip anxiety like an expert boxer slips punches, and others (that would be me) get schmushed a lot. Then you get up. Then you get schmushed again, followed by covering head with pillow.
Then you get up again.
I managed to keep going…not sure if the fear of poverty drove me forward or under the covers.
I do find that mindfulness (that’s a challenge DURING high anxiety) and learning stuff about self-talk helped SOME. Shanice J. Douglas