So, I’ve written a whole lot of books, but if I ever become financially secure, I want to contribute to the welfare of the world. Some books just HAVE to be written, and I hope to do that. Here are books that just beg to be written. For the sake of the universe.
Who Moved My Wheeze:
A chronicle of an elderly man who misplaces his asthmatic wife, and does not react well. A epic discussion of the effects of change and aging in a baby boomer world.
Gone With The Vind: The Yiddish Experience:
Updating the classic, an epic fictional account of a Yiddish woman in the deep south, full of pathos as she battles her alter cocker parents who cannot cope with with her kvetching. A feminist tome replete with schnorrers in the schmatta business. Grits, southern cooking and schmaltz combined.
Man Of La Munchies — The Research
A research study looking at the states of Washington and Colorado, the legalization of marijuana, and the effects on obesity in the population. Documents the increase in average weight in these states, from 150 pounds, to 300 pounds and the impact on their economies.
101 Uses For An Abusive Boss
Solving the age old question of how one deals with an abusive boss. Covers mulching, wood chipping, and more.
The Twitter Virus
A dystopian glimpse of the future, when a terrorist group creates a virus that causes people to speak only in 140 characters or less. Both humorous and terrifying consequences ensue, as the world struggles to express itself in teeny tiny soundbytes.
The Adventures of President Pinnochio
During a period of upheaval in the U.S.A., the American people reject partisan politics, and refuse to vote for Democrats or Republicans. Independent candidate Peter Pinnochio is elected as a write in candidate. For the first time in American history, both parties unite to claim that the new president was born in a woodshop in southern Italy, and thus ineligible for office.
And of course, there’s the nose thing that makes it impossible for this president to lie, and get away with it. Through this fictional account (Duh), we look at what would happen if government became truly transparent, honest and open.
The Three Mouseketeers: The American Version
Cubby, Annette and Doreen are featured in this American version of the French classic. The rollicking adventures of a group of swashbuckling heros, complete with brandished swords and mouse ears, as they battle evil in early America, and contribute to the gaining of independence from England.
Mopey Dick: A Biography
With apologies to Larry David, this in depth biography of the inventor of Viagra plumbs the depths of both despair and triumph, as Dr. Jackie Mopey finds the magic purple pill that revolutionizes society. Follow Jackie from an anxiety ridden teenager, through to his meteoric rise, and then his wilted career as success goes to his head, and his patent expires.
What If The Hokey Pokey IS What It’s All About
In this book about the meaning of life, the nihilist and existentialist views are examined, in light of the hypothesis that in fact, the hokey pokey is all there is in terms of why we were created, and the meaning of life.
Conclusion: Care To Crowdfund These Titles?
If you would like to see these classics to be finally written, you can participate in funding me via the crowdsourcing platform.
And, if you have a book you’d really like to see written, I’m available as an author. Just comment with your title, and brief synopsis. Pay me money, and I’ll write you anything.